Hello everyone!
I am Olga. Born in 90’s. And had identity crisis after I’ve born my son in 2020 where I took it (very!) seriously.
It started in 2020 where my life had shaken up so much- a difficult baby delivery that I went through completely alone, a son that born right away on the pandemic-break in early April, and a month after I need to take care a sick-husband and a newborn.
The decision to moved to another city in Germany to support my husband that opened up his own tax consulting company in July. I left my friends and familiar circles and my job as well and finally being a stay-at-home mom until undecided time (thanks to the German government who doesn’t really make effort to create adequate kita-place and let alone the burn-out mom without ANY family member here, you’re welcome)… I am desperately want to go back to work even only part-time, but without any availability of day care is sooo impossible.
I had needed a professional help. I probably still need help, well – I need a break from motherhood if it’s even possible haha.
Anyway, yes. I went to an Indonesian online psychologist service where I can tell my stories on these matters so that I can tell everything in my mother-language (imagine I need to tell things only in German, sighs) – I just know that it is VERY NORMAL to feel like that. I never know that I might have a bad baby-blues or whatsoever. What I found quite unfair was, nobody was willing to tell blatantly how motherhood could be so harshed. Before baby, I only saw how lovely to be pregnant, delivering a baby, take care of them, love of my life etc etc on social media. Ok I got it raising a human-being IS definitely hard but I didn’t expect it costs that much to me as a self-being. Mentally. Oh maybe I just born a baby in a wrong timeline and situation.
This is why the blog is here. To be honest I am not sure if I’d write regularly. Beforehands, I was working on my YouTube channel that even got monetized as well – just to feel that I have more identity instead of being mom; but since I had a professional project on last summer and as my son grows into toddlerhood, I just can’t find the time anymore! I realized how I love to write (rants!) on my Instagram story and somehow still find time to do that, so I thought let’s just buid a blog to accomodate the self-actualization of my different identities. Because motherhood has broaden my horizon and
Olga is definitely not only a mom, she is also..
A wife
A professional who always want to build a career, come on I got this MBA degree to be more thriving x)
A foodie. I can live with German weather but I won’t ever survive without good foods! Either trying up new restaurants or cooking/baking by myself
A traveler. I was at least. Are vacations count as traveling? haha
A lifestyle-enthusiast. This is where my level-up journey also plays a role. I define myself differently and I know in which direction I’d like to go as our life develops. I was a broke MBA student before and now, I am still broke x)
Hey, SAHM don’t earn any penny but without SAHM – the husbands might not earn as much as the days before babies. We knock on our (yes, our. The men should realize, they could always go wrong in the career without the right woman beside him, think of the Obama’s!) six-figures in assets on our own – no inheritances, no gifts, no parents giving us monthly allowance etcetc, you can read my husband’s blog on the investment journey here. I was a die-hard Simone de Beauvoir follower on the existentialism topic, but having a baby is really rocking our world including how it shiftt my views and mindset.
Ok ok too much for introduction. Oh, English is not my mother tongue although we had it first since 8 years old but sadly it doesn’t count as one in Indonesian. I decided to write in English because I want like-minded women gather around and my international circle of acquaintances could read it as well.
Enjoy! Hopefully we can stay in touch. Reach me out on my Instagram page 😀
Olga.
